The true story of One Family and their struggle to not take the van out back and put it out of it’s misery. (And yes we mean that in the same sense as when Old Yeller got taken out back…)
The van is old. The van is tired. The van is, as of right now, an amputee.
The intrepid family went to town to run some errands and procure a small amount of nourishment. They were going to hunt for badgers but they were tired from the long day and opted to eat at a restaurant instead.
While there the paternal unit discovered that the maternal unit forgot to buy diapers – the one thing they had originally gone out to get. Ah well, the family steadfastly decided that after lunch they would venture back to the the hell that is the supermarket.
*several minutes, 43 “Mommy?”s, and 43 “What babe?.”s later*
The maternal unit retrieved the diapers and the happy family went merrily home.
However *ominous music begins* as they drove they could hear a disturbing sound…an evil sound. When the delightful family stopped to check their mail the maternal unit noticed a horrible burnt rubber smell. The paternal unit insisted that he had not been doing skids while the maternal unit’s eyes were closed – and so got out to investigate. The paternal unit discovered an odd looking rear wheel…distended, “bulgy” if you will. Regardless of this phenomenon the stalwart family continued home. *ominous music gets louder and Louder and Louder – until* They turned in to their driveway and where the wheel just flies off the van! The wheel had given up and lay a few feet away from the van, smoking and dying.
Now the van is in the hospital, surgery is scheduled for early tomorrow. The van should be up and running on it’s new artificial “leg” sometime in the afternoon, providing everything goes well in surgery and the van doesn’t lose too much fluid. Let us pray.