I don’t know what a snail would want with a broach!

I have the keys! We are starting the move on Monday, so I won’t be posting much for a while. I should be back soon with lots of amusing, but most likely boring, stories of our move. So you need not worry about that!

BQotD From Nettie
*I mean, first it was the fair. And give me credit, I didn’t know I was going to throw up when Janna said, “Oh, just one more ride.” *

The details of my life are quite inconsequential.

We found an apartment! It is right downtown, 2 bedroom, private entrance, parking, in a heritage building for a steal. An absolute steal. I am ridiculously excited. The living room has French doors, French doors for crying out loud. Ah. It is a small apartment but it has everything we wanted and I am ecstatic about moving in. You could say I am insane with joy. Insane.

BQotD From WWTDD
*Normally women are at least good for sex and going to the kitchen to bake me a pie, but I wouldn’t even trust Paris to do that. Certainly not sex. I’d rather get head from a rattlesnake. At least then I wouldn’t have to guess what treatment I was gonna need.*

Please, insert your stolen card now.

We have been apartment hunting for two days now, I know thrilling. We have only seen three places but they were all c.r.a.p. The first one was totally cute but tiny. The second was in a dilapidated old building, on the third floor, up very rickety steps – no thank you. This last one was ok – Great location, great building, but alas – tiny.
Oh well we have more to see and aren’t moving until the end of March so it’s not the end of the world. Yet.
It is just very frustrating, I hate apartment hunting.

BQotD from How to Eat Out
*If you are allergic to say, fish. It’s a good idea to inquire if a restaurants Caesar salad contains say, anchovies, which incidentally are, a fish.*

Hop inside my mouth… if you want to live.

There is a festival here called the Jack Frost Children’s Winterfest. They had 2 characters – Spiderman and Nemo visit a local restaurant today. The Boy and I went there for breakfast and I told him there would be a surprise for him. The look of wonder and astonishment on his face was priceless. It is times like these when I wish I had a digital camera so I could show you his face.

At the risk of sounding like one of those mommies whose child is always doing things in a much cooler way than your child could ever hope to…It was magical, really.

He hugged Spiderman and Nemo, made them hug each other, gave Nemo a kiss on his fish lips and told Spiderman repeatedly “you got eyes.” It was great to see him so ridiculously happy! He couldn’t stop talking about them after we left. I got a few pictures, he wouldn’t hold still for very long so I hope they turn out.

On a less charming note, when we got home The Boy asked for some toast with butter. No problem, mommy to the rescue. Made him some toast, then he wanted more. Ok, I was just buttering it when he came into the kitchen. He saw what I was doing and said “No mommy, put in the toaster!” So I told him I had already done that and was buttering it and cutting it for him. He was not pleased. More yelling. I put the toast on the table and walked away. He followed me still yelling about the toaster, then he went back got the plate and brought it to me and dumped the toast on the floor! I told him to pick it up and my darling Said “No! You pick it up!” Right. You’re welcome.
In the end he picked it all up and ate it. So much for the 5 second rule…

BQotD – From waiterrant
*My problem’s like wanting to eat the hamburger without having to meet the cow*

Hasta la vista baby.

The Boy has decided that water is the devil. He will not take a bath or a shower, and screams as if we are skinning him alive when he has to. I am surprised the neighbors haven’t called child services. I mean what I am supposed to do? I tried to sponge him clean most of the time, then give him one bath a week but even that is torturous. How long will this last? Am I doomed to be the mother of the stinky kid? I don’t wanna!
He also needs a haircut and will eat nothing but toast with butter. I’m doomed.

The BQotD is from The Chocolate Factory
* I sincerely apologize to all of the East Coast provinces for being a ninny- which by the by, should be a word we use a lot more. *

I am insane

I want to become a wordpresser.  However I do not enjoy the lack of customization here and am loathe to leave Blogger.  I am computer illiterate, but like the tiny bit of control I have over my blog.  Anyway – I want to get my own domain someday so I wanted to get my foot in the wordpress door.  Here I am, I don’t know what will happen next. 

Why don’t you come up sometime, and see me?

This is the puppet hospital and burns unit. It’s relatively new.

It seems that my plea for candy garnered attention but no actual candy. Damn! Why are my plans foiled time and time again?!
Alright, no candy. That’s fine, just fine. Perfectly fine, I am totally ok with it. Really.

Did you ever notice how some bloggers write really long posts everyday while I am over here writing these tiny little ones? What’s up with that anyway….I want to write longer ones but I honestly don’t have that much to say. Which is totally weird because in real life you can’t shut me up. I could talk all day, but I can’t seem to write as much. This is one of those things that means absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of things but will keep me up at night – yeah I am that strange. I don’t even know why I would want to write long posts…short ones are just as good – it’s just something I noticed.

Well, that was one of those insane rambles that I am so famous for. You’re welcome.

And now for something completely different – I read a lot of blogs, and I am starting a new feature on my blog called “Blog Quote of the Day”. I am going to take a quote from another blog and post it here. Why? Because I can.

So here it is the first “BQotD”

*Ya, I suppose that’s not really a peaceful protest, but God damn if I don’t have a hankerin’ for some budgie nuggets.* from the Mayor of Mitchieville

See, who needs affection when I have blind hatred?

It’s not my fault being the biggest and the strongest. I don’t even exercise.

Some random things.

We are having a severe snow storm warning for tonight. I hate storms. I am always unprepared and worry about bad things happening.

I am going to watch “Grey’s Anatomy” tonight. I love that show – the cliff hanger episode last week was pretty awesome.

We went to the flea market today where I bought 3 movies – All Dogs Go to Heaven, The Spongebob Squarepants Movie, Dinosaur and a paper making kit. Woooo hoooo. I am such an exciting person.
The Boy and I already watched Spongebob and he is in the process of watching All Dogs Go to Heaven right now.

When I was little I entered a colouring contest for All Dogs Go to Heaven, and won a purple ball cap. I was so excited I could barely stand myself.

I’ve always wanted to write a book but I never seem to think of a good idea. I thought about a story of my life, but that would be a yawn fest. Unless I made most of it up and got on Oprah’s book club, then leaked that it was all fake and get chewed out by Oprah herself. That would make for a good story.

Saturday Night Live is going down hill really fast. I watched last week and it s-u-c-k-e-d monkey balls.

Here are three quotes from three of my favourite movies – anyone know what movie – bonus points for which character said it.

#1 – I’ve hired you to help me start a war! It’s a prestigious line of work, with a long and glorious tradition.
#2 – I’m the coleslaw king of the world!
#3 – You’re not so tough without your car, are ya?

What?! Probably some local fisherman, out for a pleasure cruise, at night… in… eel-infested waters…

Just a quick post to let you know that I have not died nor have I killed anyone. Not for lack of trying though.

Speaking of killing – it is still Comment or I Kill You Week. So for those of you who have not commented, I am warning you that I am in the kind of mood that is perfect for wreaking havoc, destruction and mayhem.

In other news my sister, Lyn put a challenge for me on her blog. Go check it out and look at number 4. Tell me what you see…she told me the answer but said parts of it are in bold so that it should make sense. However, when I see it nothing looks bold, or different in any way. So am I crazy and my vision is finally going or what?

You seem a decent fellow, I hate to kill you.

I am thisclose to freaking out.

Have you ever had one of those days where it seems everyone is out to make your life miserable? Where everyone is trying to piss you off? I am having one of those days on a massive scale. Realizing your house was built on the mouth of a dormant volcano, only because it just exploded in your living room – that kind of scale.

The Boy is making me crazy today. The kind of crazy where you want to shave your eyeballs and pluck every hair out of your nose with rusty pliers – all in an effort to NOT run away screaming.

Oh lord.

Has the fact that you’re completely psycho managed to escape your attention?

Lets play a game – it’s called Comment or I Kill You.
Well, I probably won’t actually kill you…there are many reasons why I won’t. One major reason being the whole Thou shalt not kill thing. The other major reason would be I do not know where all of you live and am too lazy to find out.

So now that we have that cleared up – I know that a while back lots of bloggers had the de-lurking week and for some insane reason I did not participate. Now I have decided to do it. I am having my own de-lurking week only I will be calling it Comment or I Kill You Week.

So if there is anyone out there reading and not commenting – be warned.
Those of you who read and do comment occasionally are not exempt from my killing spree should you choose to not comment during Comment or I Kill You Week.

Thank you, that is all.

I want a car. Chicks dig the car.

I don’t know why but I am not liking all these pictures on my blog. I know I put them there, what I mean is that I will be waiting for a while before I put anymore up. So there.

We were going to go into town today. The Hubband had a meeting for work and then he was going to take The Boy and I out for lunch. So I go to start the car and I see that the lights are on! Damn. We call our friend who lives up the road to give us a boost – it doesn’t work…now we need a new battery. Damn. Damn. Damn.
The Boy threw a conniption fit when I tried to bring him back inside. He wanted to go and is pissed that we have to wait.

Now I am tired and cranky. What a great day.

You know something princess, you are ugly when you’re angry.

As promised here are some more pics of my gorgeous family. There are more to follow even after this (!) but for now here are the siblings and their insignificant others – oldest to youngest and then their children.

Special K-

Shna’s older and wiser sister. The one who, at a particularly hairy time in her life, carried an industrial sized bottle of hairspray in her purse at all times. Thankfully that time has passed and she has merged into the smart and beautiful woman you see above. (I realize you can’t actually tell how smart she is from her picture…so shut up.)

Finn –

The one who is Special K’s man-servant. Good husband and father to my favourite nieces.

Nurse Matilda –

The Hubband’s younger sister. The one who is a palliative care nurse, hence the nickname, and a wonderful mother.

PeeJay –

The one who is Nurse Matilda’s man-slave and resident wise ass.

Pretty Boy - The oldest of The Hubband’s younger twin brothers. The one who is so pretty he can barely stand himself.

Jenny from the Block –

Pretty Boy’s wife. The one who is obviously blinded by love.

Kung Fu Brother –

The other brother in the twin set – The one who is Licensed to kill.

Jay-may –

The Yin to Kung Fu Brother’s Yang. The marathoner who ran away with Kung Fu’s heart.

L L Heart Lay-

Shna’s self absorbed Little Sister. The one who will probably not enjoy this pic. Ha.

Beetle –

Special K and Finn’s oldest daughter. The one who couldn’t be bothered to stop playing her gameboy so her favourite aunt could take her picture.

Ray-Ray –

Special K and Finn’s youngest daughter. The one who thinks she is all that and a bag of chips.

Little D –

Nurse Matilda’s son. The one who talks too much.

Little Boy bleu –

Jenny from the block and Pretty Boy’s son. The newest and so far cutest, addition to the Family.

It’s true what they say: Cops and women don’t mix. It’s like eating a spoonful of Drano, sure it’ll clean you out, but it’ll leave you hollow inside.

I could think of nothing interesting to write about today. Nothing of consequence happened and I really don’t have the brain power today to make things up. So I have something for you in the form of pictures of me!

YAY!

Your prayers have been answered.

However, these are not your everyday pictures, no, they are special.

I will tell you nothing else about them, here they are.

Enjoy.

I am your father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate.

The Characters of my life.

There will be more to follow as I don’t want to overwhelm my readers with too much beauty in one sitting.

These are a few pics of my immediate family, my son, my husband, My Mom, My Dad, My Father in Law, and my Mother in Law.

The Boy – in the Terrible Twos, the cutest but most annoying kid on the planet Shna.

The Hubband – in the Terrible Twenties, the second cutest but only slightly less annoying “kid” on the planet Shna.

Mother Mary Lou – Shna’s Momma. The most courageous, tenacious, wonderful, funny, awesome mother on the planet Earth, let alone planet Shna.

Don Tedward – Shna’s Poppa. Reigning King of Sarcasm and the Prince of Spackwards Beak.

Double D Dad – The Hubband’s Papa. The Man who knew too much.

Maman eh – The Hubband’s Maman. The woman who loved him anyway.

Try not to make a mess when you die.

Simon will love me as soon as he sees me.

I am watching American Idol auditions and they are making my ears bleed.
I just don’t understand why people will tell their loved ones they can sing when they couldn’t carry a note in a bucket.

That is all.

Everything you know is wrong…

Black is white, up is down and short is long. And everything you thought was just so important doesn’t matter.

I feel like a horse’s ass right now.

I feel betrayed, and I feel like I’m not a very good friend.
I know this doesn’t make a lot of sense right now, in fact I don’t know if it will ever make sense. I will try to explain it the best I can.

Friends of mine, Jack and Dee are getting divorced. This in itself, while a horrible thing for anyone to go through, is not the end of the world. They have been separated since Christmas. Jack has gone to his parents house with their daughter Fee, and he was the one to call me last week and tell me the story of their break up. He told me a host of things about Dee that I won’t get into here, and I believed every word he said. I have known Jack longer than Dee so naturally I trusted my friend.
Today I went for a drive and decided that Dee is not an awful person and doesn’t deserve to be cast aside, so I went to visit her. I was the second person, of all her so called friends, to visit her. She cried many times and told me her side of the story. I listened to her as she punched holes in everything Jack had told me. Not only did Jack lie to me, he made Dee promise not to tell anyone about their separation until it was finalized, saying he didn’t want to get their parents involved and upset. Then he told his parents, called and emailed all his friends, all their mutual friends and told them his sordid side of events. I am sad, bewildered. I thought this man was my friend. I thought theirs was the perfect marriage. I am so sad for Dee and Fee. Fee is caught in the middle of what will be an extremely messy custody battle.

I don’t know what to think anymore.