I still maintain he kicked himself in the balls.

So now that all the Christmas Cheer is over I am feeling rather blue. I am officially OUT of the Christmas Mood, I even want to take down the tree….RIGHT NOW.
I won’t though…I think the Hubband would want it up longer.
Oh well.

I had a really good Christmas….
The Hubband gave me a Coronation Street Book.
Big Sis got us 2 games, Brew-opoly(Really Fun!) Shout about movies and a snow-woman in a box.
Little sis got me chocolate, Trivial Pursuit Pop Culture DVD, and Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.
Parents got me way too much….I try to tell them every year that they don’t have to “buy me” but they do it anyway. Sheets for The Boy’s bed and mine, (4 sets in all) a subscription to a magazine that I wanted, some misc. things in my sock – scrapping stickers, disposable camera, ornament for the tree.
Grammie got me an Alfred Sung Wallet (complete with money…way to go gram!), a sweater and sheets for the Boy’s bed.
There, I think that is everything…anyway the gifts don’t matter really. I got to spend some time with my parents, sisters and Grammie. I got to see my nieces… they are too cute. That’s what matters. I even had a Christmas fight with my little sister. That’s the true meaning of Christmas.

As you wish.

I’m back. Did you miss me…..probably not.
Any-hoo, Christmas was great, lots of fun, family and food.
I am tired and don’t feel like writing anything tonight.
That is all.

Let’s hop on the good foot and do the bad thing!

It is Christmas Eve, whoooooo- hoooooooo!
Anyway.
I am going on “Vacation” for a few days. Vacation? Yes that’s right I need a vacation from sitting on my ass blogging for hours on end. So shut up.
I will be actually busy these next few days (what with Christmas and all, hee hee) So I may or may not post anything. Which doesn’t really matter because there may or may not be actual people reading this (besides my good friend Heddar…love ya!) and they may or may not care at all.

I will be back, sometime.

Merry Christmas
Happy Hanukkah
Have a crazy Kwanzaa
And a wonderful Winter Solstice

Good day and Good bye.

Yes, we’re gonna have to go right to . . . ludicrous speed!

*It’s Christmas Time in the City.*

3 days till Christmas.
3 Freakin days.
I.
Am.
EXCITED.
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAHhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

A Letter to my Little Sister

To my Little Sis

Growing up you were always tailing me. Whether you cared to admit it or not, you were my little shadow. Constantly trying to see what my friends and I were doing and begging me to let you join in the fun. For the most part my friends liked you, and I resented you a lot for that. Growing up you were so mean to me in front of your friends and we fought almost incessantly, but I knew deep down, in your black pit of a heart you loved me. Somewhere, way down, beneath your love of clothes, makeup, shoes and all things shiny, there was a little sisterly love. You would bring it out when I least expected it, surprising me with kindness. To this day it creeps me out when you are nice to me.
I know I can be furiously hard on you, sometimes to the point of being downright nasty. It frustrates me to no end when you disregard what I have to say almost before I say it. I feel that I am older and (somewhat) wiser than you are. Wiser in the fact that I have lived through a lot of the same life experiences as you and have honest, valid and occasionally funny advice to give you. The “Big Sister Gene” in me wants to help you avoid any mistakes I can. It also makes me feel like I failed you as a sister when you do make mistakes, like I should have tried harder to get through to you. Instead I just gave up a lot of the time. Mind you, it is kind of hard to give advice to someone who is as stubborn, pig-headed and ornery as you are. (lets face it…I am too, but that is beside the point!) Sometimes I feel that you don’t respect, trust or value me. Sometimes you can be the most flaky person on the planet. Other times you are so funny and witty that I am insanely happy to be your sister. These three sides are divided about 50/40/10 which makes you really hard to like a lot of the time.
Don’t worry, that doesn’t stop the love! I love you even when I have to fight off the urge to smother you while you sleep.

Love you
Shna

I know you can be underwhelmed, and you can be overwhelmed, but can you ever just be, like, whelmed?

I am in a funk. I am tired. Tired of life, tired of eating, tired of cleaning, just plain tired of everything. I am not sure why but I just don’t feel very Christmas-y. I need to do something to bring my spirits back. Maybe I could make some cookies for gifts, or finish the cards I am making, or even start on the gift for my father. I am just depressed I guess, because everything seems like a huge undertaking. Suddenly making lunch seems as difficult as climbing Mt. Everest, barefoot, wearing only goggles and a pair of shorts.
I just don’t know if I can make it.

A Letter to my Big Sister

To my Big Sis

I remember when I was little and wanted to play with you and your friends, how you would let me for a little bit but then when you had to talk about “big girl” stuff you kicked me out. I remember how you and I used to absolutely torture our little sister. I remember once when you came home for a visit and went to church with us. One of the older boys said “wow who is that pretty girl?” I remember being so proud to say “She’s my Sister.” I remember how your hair never moved. I remember all the dorks you brought home and how I drove them crazy with silly questions, and they never came back. I remember when you brought home Finn. His hands shook all the time, he was really shy and I remember giving you a hug and saying “This one’s a keeper, I like him.” I remember going to visit you and we would watch movies and when we drove anywhere you always had the rear view mirror positioned so you could see yourself. I remember your wedding, when you married Finn, you were so beautiful. I remember when your first daughter was born. I was so happy and proud to be an Aunt. I remember when you had your second daughter. Again I was so happy, two adorable little girls for me to spoil.

Of all the things I remember, I don’t remember ever being close to you. I don’t remember “knowing” you. I remember the baby voice you used when talking to me. It made me feel small. I remember feeling unimportant. I remember being so tongue tied around you. Being 10 years younger just made me feel like we would never be close. Once I was married and had a child of my own you stopped with the baby voice. You teased me less, made me feel like I was important. We talk more now, but only of trivial things. I am still scared that you won’t like me. I wish we were closer. I wish I could say the things to you that I think. I wish I could tell you that the time we went to Rainbow Valley and Finn yelled at me, you didn’t stand up for me and it really hurt my feelings. I wish I could tell you that sometimes I think your kids are so spoiled they can be downright nasty. I wish I could tell you that it hurts me when you make fun of mom.
I wish I could tell you that despite everything I think you are a great mom. I wish I could tell you that I respect you for how far you’ve come in life. I wish I could tell you that I think you are brave.
I wish I could tell you all of this, but I can’t. I am too scared.

I wish I could give you this letter.

Love you
Shna

If the good Lord had intended us to walk he wouldn’t have invented roller-skates.

This made me laugh, so I thought I would put it here to make you laugh. Or something like that.

You must be a child of the 80’s!

• Your first computer was a Commodore 64 or an Atari 800.
• Your first Walkman weighed about as much as a brick.
• You yearned to be a member of The Babysitters Club, and tried to start a club of your own.
• You’ve ever conversationally used the phrase “Jane, you ignorant slut”.
• You wore a banana clip or one of those “slap on” wrist bands at some point during your youth.
• You were shocked by the controversial plot lines in Degrassi Junior High.
• You were in Cub Scouts, Girl Scouts or Girl Guides, but now you have no idea what all the badges you got were for.
• You were led to believe that in the year 2000 we’d all be living on the moon.
• You sat on your back porch, playing with your “My Little Pony”, “Rainbow Brite”, and “Strawberry Shortcake” dolls
• You still know the Big Mac song. “Two all beef patties, special sauce…”
• You think there should be a Kids Incorporated original cast reunion.
• You thought being a latch key kid was completely normal.
• You thought that Transformers were more than meets the eye.
• You totally LOVED Barbie’s cooler, punkier counterpart, “Jem” and her “Rockers”.
• You wanted to be a Goonie.
• You wanted to be either Nancy Drew or the Hardy Boys.
• You wanted to have an alien like Alf living in your house.
• Cerise pink, electric blue and banana yellow have ever featured in your wardrobe or make-up collection.
• Guys: You remember when a guy piercing his ear was radical to the max, but did it anyhow.
• If you ever said “I pity the fool”.
• In many of your childhood photos you are wearing something plaid.
• Leg warmers and headbands a la Pat Benatar once looked really cool to you.
• Partying “like its 1999″ seemed SO far away.
• Punks actually “shocked” people.
• Schoolhouse Rock played a HUGE part in how you actually learned the English language.
• The Dark Crystal is still one of your favorite movies.
• You know what the phrase “Where’s the beef?” means.
• You thought eating Reese’s Pieces would attract your own Alien.
• There were days that the homework just had to wait until the After School Special was over.
• One word – Atari.
• You actually thought “Dirty Dancing” was a REALLY good movie.
• You are still baffled by the “day glo” clothing trend.
• You believed that “By the power of Greyskull, you HAD the power!”
• You can remember watching Full House and Saved by the Bell for endless hours.
• You can still sing the rap to “Fresh Prince of Bel-air”.
• You can, right now, hum to yourself the theme to ‘Inspector Gadget’.
• You ever had a Swatch Watch.
• You ever owned one of those embarrassing crimping irons.
• You ever uttered the word “Radical!”
• You ever said “Gag me with a spoon!”
• You had a crush on one of the New Kids on the Block members.
• You had top-of-the-line Commodore 64s in your jr. high computer lab.
• You have ever called 867-5309.
• You have ever wondered why Smurfette was the ONLY female Smurf.
• You have seen at least 10 episodes of Fraggle Rock.
• You have worn a Banana Clip, or knew someone who did.
• You hold a special place in your heart for “Back to the Future.”
• You knew “The Artist” when he was humbly called “Prince.”
• You know all of the words to at least one of the Schoolhouse Rock songs.
• You know all the words to “Ice Ice Baby”.
• You know how (or wanted to be able) to Moonwalk!
• You know how to use a rotary phone.
• You know that another name for a keyboard is a “Synthesizer.”
• You know the profound meaning of “Wax on, Wax off.”
• You know what “sike” and “not!” mean.
• You know what leg warmers are and had a pair.
• You know what movie the phrase, “Number 5 is alive!” is from.
• You know where to go if you “wanna go where everybody knows your name.”
• You know who He-Man and She-Ra are.
• You know who Mr. T is.
• You know, by heart, the words to any “Weird” Al Yankovic song.
• You own any cassettes or records.
• You owned a Jordache anything, or you remember when Jordache jeans were cool.
• You owned at least one Choose Your Own Adventure book.
• You played with Lego’s when they were just blocks of various sizes, not any of the special little parts.
• You remember the original version of Windows: Macintosh.
• You remember when Betamax was at the cutting edge of technology.
• You remember when cellular phones weighed 15 lbs. and had to be carried over your shoulder.
• You remember when McDonald’s served their burgers in styrofoam boxes.
• You remember when music that was labeled “alternative” really was.
• You remember when Saturday Night Live was funny.
• You’ve recently horrified yourself by using any one of the following phrases: – “When I was younger” – “When I was your age” – “Because I SAID so, that’s why” – “What the HELL is this noise on the radio?”

Why must I be surrounded by frickin’ idiots?

Yesterday in Numbers

• 1 Christmas Party

• 2 Hosts
• 1 Kid

• 13 People Invited
• 10 Adults
• 3 Kids

• 1 Kid Came Early
• 1 Adult Came Early
• 2 People Came Late

• 1 Person Couldn’t Come
• 4 People Didn’t Show up at all
• 2 People Came to Pick up One Kid – They Forgot the Party was that day

• 1 Dissapointed Host

Am I going MAD, or did the word “think” escape your lips?! You were not hired for your brains, you hippopotamic LAND MASS!

I have nothing to say. Wait…let me re-phrase. I have nothing interesting to say, but that won’t stop me from saying it.
Nothing new or exciting has happened in my life (how depressing) except that I have been cooped up in the house for 3 days because of the dang snow! We are supposed to get another storm on Saturday….I don’t think I can take it! That is the day of our Christmas Party….damn. I am too excited about it to have it cancelled on account of snow. Damn snow and it’s all – encompassing white – ness.

The Boy has taken to having conversations with himself. This worries me on many levels. He refers to himself in the third person, a lot. When he is playing in his room and I call him to come to lunch I can hear him say “I’ll be right back” …to himself. It is very strange. He will also ask me a question and then answer it himself. For example today we were watching The Santa Clause on tv and when he saw the Reindeer he asked me if he could pet them.( he likes to “pet” the tv when there are animals on it! Another odd quirk) Before I could even say anything he said “No maybe later.” Alright-y then.

He also sat on my lap today, looked directly at me, stuck his finger as far up his nose as it would go, pulled it out and licked it *shudder* while laughing hysterically. I swear the kid lives to drive me crazy.

What are you looking at? Wipe that face off your head, bitch.

Things that piss me off today. Actually most every day, but today in particular.

• Elections in the middle off winter.
• Being too poor to live, but not poor enough to qualify for any kind of help.
• Cracked fingernails.
• The Liberal moron who thinks Canadian parents will run out and spend any money we get on Popcorn and Beer. That’s just stupid…I know for a fact that most of use would use it much more frivolously. You know, for food, gas and heating our homes.
• Hennifer Hopez for being a bull dyke. Case in point(s) – Bennifer, Gigli, becoming Mrs. Anthony.
• The fact that it is just after 6 pm and damn dark out.
• The Conservative Commercials where Stephen Harper looks like an animatronic freak.
• Martha Stewart’s show “The Apprentice”. I like the show, the tasks are really fun and the contestants are bitchy to the extreme. Martha herself is the one downfall. I just can’t take that sanctimonious bitch with the limp-wristed handshake. I’m sorry Martha, you just don’t fit in. Goodbye.
• The Cold.

Well that’s enough biatch-ing for now. Good bye and good luck.

The suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.

Today’s Word of the Day today is an English one. Huzzah!

Velutinous

- Velvety, covered with dense, soft, silky hairs.

A sample sentence using today’s word

Wow! That white tracksuit you are wearing is quite velutinous.

I’m just a little tense. This whole office is not Feng Shui. All the desks are facing evil.

For no real reason, other than I want too, here is a list of things I am thankful for – in no particular order.

• My Son – who brightens my day, every day.
• My Hubband – A good man, husband and a great Papa.
• Books – I love to read and would spend all day at the book store reading if I could.
• My sisters – without which I would have much more self-esteem
• The show House – I just love the character House, and the show is funny, dramatic and just plain good!
• My Friends – who keep me (somewhat) sane, because after all, they are nutters themselves!
• Harry Potter Books – I will be quite sad when they are all over!
• My Mother – who almost died a few years ago. Despite her not being the “same” as she was, I have a new love for the woman she has become. I am lucky and deliriously happy that she is still with us.
• My Father – who since my mother was sick has become a “better” person. (In my eyes at least) I use this term for lack of one that makes more sense. He was in no way a bad person or father, but now he speaks more truths and shows affection more freely.
• My Parents in law – for being relatively normal, at least compared to me.
• My extended family (on both sides) – just for being in my life and making it richer and full of colour.

And now for something completely different….

The Word of the Day

Another German one. Ha.

Horen

Hear

Sample Sentence Using Today’s Word

Da kannst du alle Sprachen der Welt horen.

You can hear all the languages of the world there.

FYI – Horen should have an umlaut over the o, but I don’t know how to do that.

Carnies. Circus folk. Nomads, you know. Smell like cabbage. Small hands.

For the past few days I have not posted anything. I could not think, my brain was (and possibly still is) mush. I have been at an impasse. “Don’t you mean writer’s block?” you ask with that snarky grin I have some to loathe. To which I reply – No, I don’t mean writer’s block, you marginally good-looking, totally malfunctioning, ape-descended humanoid. I am a ranter not a writer. While a writer gets writer’s block, a ranter becomes stuck, at an impasse, if you will. The ranter becomes suck in “A situation that is so difficult that no progress can be made”. Which brings me back to this, I am at an impasse. I haven’t had a good idea for days, or if you want to get technical, never. I have however had some ideas that didn’t completely suck.
At the very least I can say that I have finally written something down, which is better than yesterday when I ranted 7 times, but only in my head.

You keep using that word. I do not think it means, what you think it means.

I believe that my faithful readers need a dose of culture every now and then.
In that vein I introduce to you the Word of the Day.
Todays word will be a German one.
Enjoy. Or don’t, see if I care.

Word of the Day

- straight from the G – Dot!

Gedächtnis

Memory

Sample sentence

Männer haben ein gutes Gedächtnis

Men have a good memory

Now, my loyal subjects…go forth and speak!

Lose the guns or I redecorate in brain matter gray!

Remember that time that we all went to Vegas?

You know, when we gambled all that money that we borrowed back home from the safe at work? We came home with nothing but memories, a trunk full of dirt, a shovel with what looked like blood on it, several empty liquor bottles, and some lye. Those where some good times, good times.

We should do that again.

I eat green berets for breakfast, and right now I am very hungry.

Ten more random things I feel like writing about.

1. Scientology sucks. If only because Tom Cruise follows it and he is a moron.
2. The fact that there are, at this very moment, on my tv, 5 channels of entertainment shows! 5! All showing the exact same stories. I am so sick of hearing about Brangelina and Nick and Jessica. I do not care. I especially do not want to see them on every channel, for 2 hours.
3. Not having any money, again.
4. My son refuses to use the toilet. It is driving me crazy.
5. I wish I was funnier. I would rather be wickedly funny than rich.
6. I can’t believe I just said that. I would rather be wickedly funny and rich. There, that’s better.
7. I had McDonald’s last night. We went through the drive-thru and ordered a chicken burger meal and 6 chicken nuggets with Honey Mustard. When we got home I discovered Hot mustard, okay not too bad it is for the Boy and he likes it. Then the nuggets are hard and cold. The fries are cold and gross and the burger is slightly warm. The Hubband was gone so I didn’t have a car to take that shit back, but man it was gross and I was really disappointed.
8. I just farted.
9. I am obscenely addicted to Coca-Cola.
10. I like the show Las Vegas. I really liked the episode where Monica got blown off a building and dies! Hahahha.
Bonus – because no one cares anyway.
11. I laugh at others misfortunes.

I’m French. Why do think I have this outrageous accent, you silly king.

The other day as I was blog-surfing I stumbled across this blog called 10 things I did today. This man is hil-FREAKEN-larious! I must admit that I went all the way back to his first post and read them all up to the last one! Hey, I didn’t do it all in one sitting, make no mistake, I could have but I almost died laughing. So I thought it best to spread it over a couple of days. Anyhoo you must go and read this blog. It hasn’t been updated since October (boooooo!) and I hope he comes back, but you must go if for nothing more than to shut me up.
As an example (perhaps not the best one, but one that made me laugh so hard I nearly wet myself) here is his list from 1/18/05
1. Electrocuted myself with the toaster
2. Found out that my cubicle will be available when I go back to the main building @ work because the guy that had taken it over got fired.
3. Told my friend Steve to “stop being a Jew and put in a buck for a tip” at lunch
4. Learned that it is impossible for him to do so because he is in fact Jewish
5. Found out that it is possible to flush an entire roll of toilet paper down a public restroom toilet.
6. Broke an office chair
7. Covered my co-workers desk in post-it notes
8. Discovered just how much I hate XML tagging
9. Cursed at an inanimate object (stupid Macs)
10. Threatened to kill the same object

hahhhahaahhahahhahhahhhHHAAHHAHAHha
HAHHAHAhahHAHHAAHa….*deep breath* ha
Okay maybe it’s not that funny to you but guaranteeee that if you read more you will be laughing like the deranged monkey-loving nut that you are.

Since most of you are not anal retentive weirdos like myself I will give you links to some of the REALLY funny shit -

• Even when you know it’s wrong, you’re still laughing.
• True Love
• G’Night Rangers!

So that is all for now, I swear once you start reading you will want to keep going!

I am starting to think maybe I have built this site up a little too much…..ah who cares? I like it and you had better like it too, damn it!

Buckle up back there, we’re going into hyperactive!

I am well on my way to filling my dang sidebar….I have started a zoo.
The boy and I have adopted a few animals. So far I have a Penguin named Mr. Franklin Farfadoodle, a Llama called Little Larry Llama and Sylvia the Spider. The boy has adopted a Tiger who goes by Kitten and a Fish called Hishy. If you click on Mr. Franklin Farfadoodle over and over he will eventually fall off his iceberg. Ha Ha. Sylvia eats flies, Little Larry jumps, Kitten will eat the cursor, and you can feed Hishy. They are all pretty cool, but we all know I am deranged, so I think I will go and adopt the rest!
Come on down and visit the Shna Central Zoo!

Well, if it isn’t Lone Star and his sidekick, Puke.

So the place I worked this summer is having their Christmas party…..Tonight! Ah, I called one of the girls I worked with today and she told me they tried to get a hold of me all week, “thank god you called” she says. Right, it is tonight at 8, in town (thank the lord for small mercies!) free pizza provided and there will be karaoke. Sweet sassy molassy. I would love to go, but the hubband doesn’t get off work until 8/9! I ‘m not sure when he will be home at all. There is also a yankee swap for gifts under $10….this should be interesting.
Tomorrow the Hubband has a “casual dress” party for his work that we have to attend. Now that he is a bigwig (or rather a bigger-wig) we have to go to these things. It doesn’t bother me much, but Hubband Hates them! And Finally on the 17th we are having our own Christmas Party, or should I say Par-Tay! I am really excited about this, I hope it all goes well.

In an effort to remain strange, here are 10 more “Have you ever” questions.

Have you ever…
Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show?
Nope!
Thrown up in a bar?
Well not IN the bar, just outside the bar maybe.
Purposely set a part of yourself on fire?
Well not really on purpose! I set something else on fire that was attached to me….yeah I know D-U-M-B.
Eaten Sushi?
yep, not my favourite thing in the world.
Been snowboarding?
No way…no coordination AT ALL, I can’t even ski.
Taken painkillers?
Oh yeah, when I had my boob job, when I had my son and when I had my wisdom teeth removed.
Fallen asleep at work/school?
In high school I fell asleep all the time…mostly in Mr. Chapmans class, B-O-R-I-N-G.
Used a fake ID?
Nope.
Won a contest?
Yeah when I was little I entered a drawing contest and won an All dogs go to heaven ball cap.
Felt an earthquake?
Yes once when I was small there was a tiny tiny quake when I was at my grams house. I remember all her china shook but nothing broke.

Come back you fat bearded bitch!

OK I am bored.
I have filled a questionnaire thingy of about 100 questions and I am going to post them here. Don’t worry, I won’t post them all at once. I am posting 10 right now and the rest when ever I feel like it, so there. I may never post any more…who knows? Only the shadow knows.

Have you ever….
Crashed a car?
Yes, on more than one occasion! Just ask J-Bone!
Stolen a car?
Nope.
Had a crush on a teacher?
Nope, all my teachers were either old and ugly, or old ugly women.
Been in love?
Yes, twice. One of those I am still “in”.
Been dumped?
Yeah.
Shoplifted?
*hangs head in shame* yes.
Been fired?
Nope!
Been in a fist fight?
Oh yeah. Several. I have what you may describe as a “slight temper”.
Been in a car accident?
Yes. See above, car crashes!
Been arrested?
Nope.

You know, tar actually sticks to some people.

Well I am now a member of Blogdrive Insanity! Whoo hoo…validation for my crazies! Here is Wednesdays Mind Hump (I know it’s Thursday, but whatever, bear with me.)

1. What was your favourite subject in high school? Art, gotta love art.
2. Are you a dog person, cat person, both or neither? How many pets do you have? None thankyouverymuch. 3. How was your Thanksgiving? Great! We had a fondue with our friends. It was awesome.
4. What are you asking Santa for this year? The Book Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince.

Well that was …interesting.

This is why Superman works alone.

Those of you who are frequent flyers here know that I am certifiably insane. For those of you who don’t know this amazing fact, here is a crash course in my delightful delirium.
In an effort to waste some of my time (and most of yours) I will be trying to fill my sidebar today. Just for the hell of it. I’m not sure what will be there but feel free to come on back now, ya hear, to see what I have done. It’s crazy. Really, it is.

I fart in your general direction.

It seems I try so hard to make this an interesting blog that people will read, but I am gathering moss instead of new readers. I have a couple loyal readers (one of which is my sister, so she pretty much has to read this) alas I seem to be so boring that I cannot attract new readers. How depressing.
You know what? I don’t care. That’s right, I said it. I. Don’t. Care. (well in all honesty I do care because that’s the kind of person I am….I want people to like me and my blog!) Anyway, what I am trying to say is “thhhtpppt!” (me sticking out my tongue) I will keep writing gibberish even if no one else ever reads my bloggy blog. Ha.