You may notice that something is different around here.
I have managed to make myself completely sick of my old blog, hence the mood swing. I know this is devastating to you, my loyal subjects, who have come to know and love the old blog. Alas, I am a tyrannical leader and do not care. So here for your (well mostly my) enjoyment is the new and (slightly) improved Shna’s Crazed Rantings.
Thanks, I’m here all week. Try the Veal.
Christmas is fast approaching and this makes me happy. I lurve Christmas, yes eets true.
My sister was quite astonished to hear that I have no decorations up at all…Horror of Horrors! I don’t like to put the tree up too early (we are putting it up on the 17th this year) and we have no decorations to speak of, so we can’t actually put anything up. My sis on the other hand, puts hers up as soon as humanly possible. She has hers up now and the house is entirely decorated! Ahh. Way too early for me. We are having a Tree Trimming Party this year. It should be fun. I am planning a scavenger hunt for the victims, err I mean guests. I am pretty excited about this party…Yeah Christmas.
Wow. This post sucks.
| BROWNIE BATTER! You scored 77% SWEET, 66% CHUNKY, and 70% UNIQUE! |
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brownie batter ice cream with a rich brownie batter swirl Mmmm….you are a very sweet mix indeed! You are warm, loving, and caring to all those around you, but you’re not boring in the least! You have a wild streak and a creative, unique streak, too. You are a great friend, an interesting person, and you know how to have fun without ending up crouching over a toilet bowl. Nice! |
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Several random things I feel like writing about right now…..
I have $7.35 in my bank account right now. That is so depressing.
I haven’t had a piece of chocolate all day…and that is a long time in shna’s world.
I really enjoy movies.
I am going to see Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire this Thursday. I am retardedly excited about this.
I am getting annoyed at websites that shorten Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire to HP and the GoF. I know it’s easier to write that but it still bugs me.
I will probably cry when I read the seventh, and last, book of Harry Potter. I will miss Potter, Granger and Weasley. 
I tell the same stories over and over again. Most people just let me tell them because it’s easier to listen then argue with me.
I love arguing. I can’t help it. Even when I know nothing about what I am saying, or know that I have no real argument, I press on.
I miss my Grandpa.
I worry that my parents will die and I will go crazy.
I am waiting for my husband to realize who he is married to and run away screaming.
I like to scrapbook, but never seem to get anything done.
I like to keep people guessing. Never let them know what’s going on in my giant melon.
I say “You know what bugs me?” a lot, just ask Heddar!
I am close to my little sister but that doesn’t stop us from fighting so much it’s scary.
I wish I was closer to my older sister.
Sometimes when I am joking around with my little sister I go to far, but I can’t get her to listen to me when I am serious so I do it anyway.
I freely admit that I like David Spade. He is cute and funny. Cute in that oh-aren’t-you-adorable-I-will-put-you-in-my-pocket-and-take-you-everywhere way, not the I-wanna-hump-you-dry kinda way.
I wear the same sweater nearly everyday.
I am writing in several journals at any given time. I really like journals, I don’t know why.
I love the colour blue.
I have yet to find a wine that I like.
I have yet to find a cake that I didn’t like.
I gave my son the same middle name as my Grandpa.
I miss my friend Heddar…she lives in Ontario. I am always trying to get her to come back here.
Farfadoodle is fun to say.
People (mostly men) from Woodstock NB are f&$%ing idiots.
I think I have officially gone insane.
I looked up the definition of the word insane and I am unsatisfied with the answer provided. One definition was mentally disordered. What the hell does that mean? Really, anyone who is feeling a little out of sorts, upset, is having a tough time in their relationships or is just plain angry has a mind that is disordered! Seriously, what kind of definition is that? It hardly explains anything. Another one was this tidbit of genius – Of, exhibiting, or afflicted with insanity. How can the word you are looking up be its own definition? Am I the only person who thinks that is weird?
I watched Dr. Phil the other day when he was trying to demystify schizophrenia, let the public know that schizophrenics are not all people to be afraid if. One woman described how she sees people turning in to demons or decomposing, or even sometimes sees people as angels, it was an enlightening episode.
Then that night the show Criminal Minds was about a man who was mentally unstable (not sure if it was schizophrenia) and was holding people on a train hostage until the “higher authority” removed the chip in his arm. I thought it fitting that just as one person tries to make something less scary, someone else turns around and says “wait this is really frightening and you should be very afraid.”
Maybe I am reading way to much in this coincidence, but I can’t help it, it’s what I do.
I’m that girl at the coffee shop who takes it as a personal assault when the clerk smiles at the person in front of me and not at me…it must be a conspiracy.
Its a new day! Isn’t that special. It is 12:30 and I have the laundry started, some in the wash, some in the dryer and some folded and put away. I am feeling a sense of accomplishment. Too bad that I still have to do the dishes, clean The Boys room, tidy the living room and take a shower before I can consider anything done for the day. Interesting how I listed take a shower last! Maybe I should take a shower first, wouldn’t that be a novel idea.
On another note -
I am bored.
The Boy is on a delightful new kick…Saying NO to absolutely everything we say. Everything. It doesn’t even matter what we say; “Do you want a sandwich?” and “It’s time for bed” garner the same response. He even answers no when it doesn’t make sense, for example, when he told me he wanted a sandwich and I asked him what he wanted on it he said no. He is driving me bonkers.
5 things The Boy has said No to in the past hour.
1. “Do you want to eat?” – just after having told me he was hungry.
2. “We have to wait for it to boil.” – when making pasta, he wanted to put it in the cold water.
3. “Is the water boiling?” – even though he was staring at it and as soon as I said yes it is he said yes.
4. “You can’t stand on the milk crate because you will fall and break your face.” – even though he has fallen and I keep hiding the crates.
5. “You can’t sit there.” – between the chair and the wall, a space that is about big enough to put a slice of toast.
Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, I guess I’ll go eat worms. Long ones, fat ones, sort ones, skinny ones. I’m gonna go eat worms.
So now I am down to 80 – something in Blog top Sites! wow. I suck.
I recently joined Blog Top Sites which is described as “a top sites directory that aims to show you the best blogs available.” I checked and I am ranked #78 in the Humour Category! #78! WHOO HOO!
My stats are;
Unique Hits This Reset 38
Hits This Reset 73
Total Unique Hits 68
Total Hits 130
Most of this makes no sense whatsoever to me, but who cares! I’m #78!
Okay, maybe I am a little overly excited about being #78 but I can’t help it. I thought I would be SO much farther down the list. I am not sure whether this means my site is actually good or that the other sites are just really bad. What ever. So my loyal readers, keep visiting my site! Everyday and twice on Sundays, just keep those numbers up….maybe I can break the top 50! Now that’s an achievement.
Oh shite! I think I just voided one of my visits! They are making sure no one can cheat to boost their numbers and I just visited the site twice (but not to cheat, honest!) and now I am down to #79! Dammit. So visit me, but no cheating.
I hate phone cards! I was just talking to my friend “Rheems” and I only had a few minutes left. So the card starts beeping and then a voice comes on and tells me I only have 2 mins left. This voice scared the crap out of me, and then when the time was up the voice came back and said Goodbye. It was very ominous. I don’t enjoy it at all.
I am absolutely brain dead today. “Just Today?” you may say. To which I laugh like a raving lunatic…and we move on.
I will not be doing any thinking today. I will find something on the world wide web to inspire me. Here I go.
Well, I found something alright. It’s called The Generosity Game. Basically it is doing anonymous good deeds for others. You do a good deed and leave a card for them to find. Sounds pretty neat, you can order cards for free (or a small donation), or download the template and print them yourself. I think it’s a great idea. Good deeds always make you feel better so why not! Everyone should join! Do it! Do it now!
Went to the flea market today. WOW. My life is full of thrills and chills….I know. We bought a desk for The Boy…for 5 bucks! He was sitting in it and I asked him if he liked his new desk, he said “no, I love my new desk!” Haha. His new favourite thing is saying “I love it” He got a winter jacket from his grandparents and he told me he loved it as well. Nothing new today really, besides the thrilling tale of the flea market desk, and you can only tell a good story like that once in while.
I have decided to give the public what it wants, and as soon as I figure out just who “the public” are and what exactly “they” want, I will give it to “them”. And how. For now I will just write whatever I feel like at the moment, and right now the moment feels like a list.
“A list?” you say. I know, what innovation! What imagination! It astounds even me.
Here it is my list of random things that I like.
1. Cake – Chocolate Cake.
2. Arnold Schwarzenegger Movies – all except Red Sonja (worst movie ever) and the Conan series.
3. Mini things – mini shampoos, toothpastes etc.
4. Cartoons – like Spongebob, and Fosters Home for Imaginary Friends.
5. Socks – just because.
I love to blog. Even though is seems no one in their right mind (except my sister, who’s not really all there) reads my blog. That annoys me. If no one is listening to my rants, I might as well be talking to myself. Which wouldn’t be that different from a regular day. Oh well, I am not one to give up, actually I am but why bother. So in effect I am giving up on giving up. That is a new one even for me.
I will plod along and eventually my readership will be up to 4.
Here is my list for today.
A random assortment of my embarrassing moments.
1. Running to catch the bus for school and tripping and falling under it.
2. Sitting on a girls lap on the bus when she slapped me so hard I fell on the floor.
3. Most anytime I am near my sister (the younger one) because she makes fun of everything. The way I dress, the way I dress The Boy, my lack of makeup, my unibrow, etc, etc.
4. The time I was in class and said “Boy am I glad that guy who sits behind me isn’t here today, I can’t stand him” only to discover that I am stupid and he is sitting across from me that day.
There that is enough for one day. We can continue this exercise in making fun of Shna at a later date.
Thank you and good day.
A friend of mine in the blogger world, well not really a friend, we don’t talk at all…. I just frequent her blog a lot and leave the occasional comment, so I am more like that creepy lady sitting at the table next to yours in the diner listening to you and your friends talking and muttering under my breath. Also, I am probably unkempt and eating an entire cake by myself, but I digress.
This “Friend” is moving her blog because some people found out about it that she didn’t want to, and she feels uncomfortable writing with them “watching”. She doesn’t want a completely private blog that no one can see just these certain people.
Whew. I am the Queen of the run-on Sentence.
My point is, well lets be honest here I never have a point. What I want to say is that I feel for her and understand her point of view exactly, but right now I can’t think of anyone who I wouldn’t want to see my blog. In fact I wish more people I don’t know would read it, so that I can get my mom to stop running up the numbers by visiting my site 18 times a day.
So tell your friends, tell your family, tell that weirdo who is sitting at that table next to yours with the chocolate on her face and frizzy hair, that if she wants a good time, no scratch that, a time that “is better than sitting by yourself staring at that cute waiter and thinking about tripping him so you can catch him before he falls and smashes that beautiful melon of his all over the sidewalk.” There. That about sums it up, come on over to my site, the door is open. Well it will be unlocked, not necessarily open; I mean really I can’t just leave it wide open. It costs a fortune to heat this place, and the bugs! Oy, don’t get me started. Don’t even get me started.
I am sorry. I apologize. I was wrong. I am not worthy. I will never do it again, I swear. I thought it would be an interesting and fun thing for my blog. I was horribly, horribly wrong. In hindsight I should have abandoned the project about half way through, when I tried to post the images to my blog and had the most difficult time of my entire life. But I was annoyed and decided to just go ahead and plow on through…I had come so far! I could see the horizon, I had to keep going. If not for me then for the children.
Well, what’s done is done. I’ve washed my hands of it and I suggest you do as well.
Here is something much, much better. Wait, it’s not necessarily better, different. Although it probably is better.
Go Fug Yourself.
The post that was here has been deleted. For several reasons. One being that I accidently deleted the photos from my hosting site, and I really did not want to go through all that crap to put them back, and Two, it sucked.
So trust me when I say this…it was bad and you don’t need to see it to prove it. I am telling you and that should be enough. Thank you and enjoy your stay.
After looking at some of my previous posts such as I am not shitting on you, You are not sending me to the cooler, and The difference is… I’m just going to kill you, I have noticed an alarming trend toward talking about The Boy’s bowel movements. As my sister so kindly pointed out – too much talk of poop. She even suggested in her own blog an alternative- Why don’t you just write about your bathroom visits. Like what they look like and smell like and feel like in your hands. I don’t think I will be going in that exact direction but suffice it to say “No more poo talk, for a while at least.” Maybe I should go back to my lists…back when I only had one reader as opposed to the three I have now. Yeah that’s probably a good idea, but I’ll save it for the next post. Right now I have more pressing things on my mind, like this -
How often do you change your answering machine or talk mail message? My friend Joan always has the weirdest ones. She and her fiancee Nick are always leaving messages for each other in theirs, which always confuses the crap (I swear that’s not going to be about poo) out of me. For instance the message they have right now goes something like this “Hi you’ve reached Joan and Nick we’re not here right now so please leave a message. And Nick, I’m at Shna’s if you need me you can reach me there, okay bye.” So here I am calling her and I have that momentary loss of reality when I look around to see if she actually is here….nope, disappointed again.
The Boy and I went shopping today and we had a fine time. That is until Mr. Man decided to take the most disgusting dump ever. I am pushing him around in the cart and I can hear people walking around muttering about the stink! Ew. So on the way home he fell asleep, normally that would be great but not today. Now I can’t change him because I don’t want him to wake up and ruin his nap. When I woke him up the poop had fermented into something even more alarmingly disgusting than I could ever imagine…all the way up to the top of the diaper….*shudder*
Wow. I think that’s too much talk of poo.
Ever heard of The Wuzzels? Yeah me either. My friend was going on and on about this show she used to watch that had mixed up animals and I though she was off her rocker. But there it is, so I guess she’s not as crazy as I thought. Well, she’s a little less crazy than I thought.
Wille Nelson has a Reggae Album?! WTH? I’m sorry but who in their right mind would ever tell Mr. Nelson that he should venture in to the world of Reggae? He is a Country Man! A Country Man….good gravy. Anyhoo, another update on the Poop Front. The boy is now passing what looks exactly like Chunky Peanut Butter and has the delightful fragrance of something in Satan’s personal toilet. On a less putrid note, The Boy and I were colouring yesterday and listening to music. The Song Born to be Wild comes on and he drops everything, stands up and proceeds to rock out for 30 secs. Then sits back down and goes on like nothing happened! The kid cracks me up. He also came to see me this morning after watching his father shave and tried to shave my beard. Thanks buddy, it was really starting to itch.
It’s 2 o’clock in the afternoon and I find myself sitting at the computer in my pajamas, with a bowl of mashed potatoes and a glass of coke. I’m sure that says a lot about my personality but we’ll deal with that later. I mean really, who do I think I am? Heidi Klum? The woman who has had 2 children a little more than a year apart and still looks fan-freakin-tastic! The woman who is 5′9, weighs a mere 119 lbs and said that taking care of infants is a simple chore since, “babies take care of themselves—they know how to poop on their own.” My God, I could kill her. Thank the sweet sweet lord at least she doesn’t have a tender caring husba….WHAT? She’s married to Seal! The Singer Seal? OMG. If that isn’t a lesson that life isn’t fair I don’t know what is. Oh wait let me see…she is also an accomplished supermodel, actress, fashion designer and artist. The woman even has her own stamp for crying out loud! Okay, okay, calm down…breathe deep and slowly. Repeat after me…I am better than Heidi Klum, I do not need to compare myself to her…..I am better than Heidi Klum, I do not need to compare myself to her….I am better than Heidi Klum, I do not need to compare myself to her…..Oh shit who am I kidding! I just have to think positive thoughts about myself….sure.
So here I am bored after a marathon session of non-stop reading. I finally got my hands on a copy of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince last night! I had a nice supper, a soothing glass of milk and began reading. I read till nearly 3 this morning. Then I fell asleep and had these incredibly vivid dreams about Harry, Dumbledore and Snape! Crazy dreams and when I awoke I had breakfast, a glass of water and continued reading. Now that I am finished the book I am drooling over the movie that is coming out November 18th! I am beyond excited, now I just can’t wait until the next movie and the last book! So in order to quiet my “pottered” nerves I jump on the net to find something to amuse my time. Lo and behold, there it was, the “Who’s your Daddy?” quiz! So I took it and here he is, my Daddy….
| Your Daddy Is Arnold Schwarzenegger |
 What You Call Him: Daddy-o Why You Love Him: He’s the Mack Daddy |
| You Are 60% Weird |
 You’re so weird, you think you’re *totally* normal. Right? But you wig out even the biggest of circus freaks! |
ARRRGGGG!
We are attempting (and I stress attempting) to potty train The Boy. Today we let him run around nekkid. Well, as if I need to say it, he took a dump on the floor! AGAIN. This makes me so angry…..I hate cleaning up poop. What am I supposed to do anyway? If I yell at him then he won’t want to poop at all let alone in the potty. Damn This is really trying my patience. One good thing about this episode was that he admitted that he pooped! Before he would say no, but today I saw the poop and said “Did you poop on the floor?” and the little bugger pointed and said “over there”! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH.
POOP!
So I just discovered some weird Holidays. My fav is National Panic Day, March 9th. I have decided to celebrate this one and I have added a ticker so that I can be prepared! Boo Ya Baby! Panic Day here I come. I wonder what you are supposed to do to celebrate Panic Day? Just panic? I can do that, easy. What kind of decorations are there? I may have to figure this one out for my self. Ok I just googled Panic Day and I found this. It is too funny. Anyhoo, The Boy came in to my bed last night. He crawled in crying, put his arm around my neck and kept saying “what’s going on, mom?” “what’s going on, mom?” My lord the kid cracks me up. I don’t even know what you he’s talking about, what’s going on….Ha. Well I need a list for today so here it is… Things That Bug Me.
1. My sister Laine, because she can, and she does. All. The. Time.
2. Tags in underwear….I mean really what is the point?
3. Spelling errors. Great now I will have the spelling police all over every little mistake I make (and by spelling police I mean Laine….another reason why she bugs me!
4. Bras…hate them.
5. People in stores that decide they don’t want something and put it wherever they happen to be, so then I come in and find a pound of beef in the flower display.
6. People who tan. Just because I can only burn.
7. People in general.
There, that is just a tiny, miniscule part of my List of Things That Bug Me. Oh well it can be a recurring feature. Ha.
I was just reading my sister’s blog wherein she has laid down a challenge. Find rhymes for these ten words Angst, Breadth, Bulb, Depth, Eighth, Gulf, Month, Ninth, Twelfth, Sixth. So in the great sisterly fashion I am taking up this challenge! Now the question remains, How many of these words am I gonna have to make up?
Angst- Fangst “The Vampire was horribly fangst”
Breadth- Death
Bulb- Sulb “I’m sorry I coulbn’t sulb da crime, I hab a colb.”
Depth- Kepth “I will be very kepthful with this vase.”
Eighth- Faith
Gulf- Sulf “So I said to my sulf, Sulf look on the bright side.”
Month- Funth “I had so much Funth this month!”
Ninth- Findth “We were finally able to findth the missing jewels.”
Twelfth- Fellth “My sister fellth down the stairs, probably because I pushed her.”
Sixth- Myth
Well there you have it folks! We’ll see you next time on The Words are Wrong, and remember, have your pet spayed or neutered!
I am having a hard time writing something for today….I can’t seem to focus on one thing. My mind is a little jumpy. So My list for today will be fun with words.
The first 6 words that pop into my head and the other 6 that I think of do to free association.
1. Peanuts – Shells
2. Bed – Sleepy
3. Farts – Smelly
4. Ice Cream – Cold
5. Chocolate – Cookies
6. Pickles – Yum Yum
So there it is. I love going to Flea Markets. We went to one on Sunday and I picked up 3 tin signs for 7 bucks. Pretty good deal I thought. I love seeing all the awesome things for sale, looking to walk away with a deal, hunting for those special items you hope to find! It’s all so much fun….Unless you have a very annoyed little boy with you. One who would like nothing better than to run around screeching and licking people. That’s right, my son licks strangers. He once licked a stair step because he was upset at his babysitter.
Here are 20 things you don’t know about me (or maybe you do, in which case you should stop going through my garbage…thankyouverymuch.)
1. I love the colour blue, but I refuse to admit that I like pink, even though I do because it looks good on me. Damn.
2. I think I am funny.
3. I wanted to go to art school but didn’t because I was afraid I wasn’t talented enough.
4. I am the biggest loudmouth when I have a friend with me….otherwise I am insanely shy.
5. I went to cooking school because it’s “arty” and I thought I could learn how to cook.
6. I am a cruddy cook.
7. I have a scar on my left hand from a time when I tried to make a bracelet with fire….right, none too smart there.
8. I snort when I laugh
9. I still like the name Arabella for a girl even though my husband doesn’t.
10. I get worked up over the littlest things and can’t stop arguing about them.
11. I want people to think I am funny.
12. I love Arnold Schwarzenegger.
13. I don’t think thirteen is an unlucky number.
14. I am a ceaseless complainer.
15. I don’t think I am pretty.
16. I think my son is the most handsome of them all.
17. I love my husband all the time, but there are days when I really don’t like him.
18. I love arts and crafts like scrapbooking, making jewelry, and painting.
19. I am not really good at anything, I am just proficient in a lot of things.
20. I love making lists.
Day three of this blog adventure and I have offically hooked three other people to blogging! HA. My plan for world Dominiation is coming together nicely….yes. *evil laughter*
I did not sleep well last night because The Boy decided to come and sleep on top of me, again. Man that kid can take up a whole bed all by himself…..drives me CRAZY.
My list today will be
6 People I should call more often
6. Amanda – my cousin who claims that I am HER favourite but yet never calls me.
5. Sheila – My Aunt who is out of her mind, but that is why we connect so well.
4. Heather – My friend who just likes to hear the sound of my voice, she should be so lucky.
3. Joan – My friend who lives right around the corner, but who I talk far too much to over the net.
2. Al – My uncle, just because he is my Favourite.
1. Babe – My husband, because I am on the net so much he never sees me let alone talks to me!
My sister just told me that I am mental. I would like to take this moment to say, thank you Laine for reading my blog and Yes I am Mental. Love me anyway!
Well I have decided that I will go with Lists as my theme. Yeah. So here is my first installment. Enjoy. Or don’t, whatever you want.
Top 6 Things to buy if I had a Million Dollars
6. A green dress (but not a real green dress, that’s cruel)
5. An Island. Probably not a very big one. I looked into this and they are DANG expensive.
4. Chocolate….lots and lots of chocolate.
3. A Personal Trainer. My three asses would love it.
2. Chicken.
And the Number one thing to buy if I had a Million Dollars
1. A Skort. I’ve never had one, and it would be fun to say “Hey I am a millionaire and I just bought a Skort.”
As I thought, no one has dared venture under the sea to come visit me in my Pineapple! That’s too bad because now, not only do I talk to my self in real life, I do it on the net as well. Good, now I look even crazier than usual. So I have a couple more non-ideas about a theme…. pickles and their varieties, top 6 lists, (because 6 is WAY cooler than 10, that’s why.) how to skin a cat: a tutorial, or the ever popular Man…what the Hell are they thinking? So I will take a vote…with MYSELF and get back to you, er me.
Well here I am again. I am officially addicted to this blog. Somebody stop me! On second thought, don’t because I love this thing. So I went to a Fantasia party this evening. I bought a warming Massager thingy….you break this chip inside and it heats up. Then it hardens and you have to boil it to use it again… LOVE IT! Very toasty warm. What could be toastier, except maybe toast!
So far I am still undecided about my theme. I have however, decided that it will not be Jeffrey Dahmer or Movies. Damn movies. What else could it be? Any ideas….anyone? Anyone? Hello…anyone out there? Can anybody hear me?
So this is my second entry of the day. The boy is asleep and I am contemplating waking him up, however, I don’t want to. Therein lies my dilemma, should I wake him up now or let him sleep and risk him being up ALL night kicking me in the head? Hmmm, maybe I should wake him up and we can make cookies that would be fun for sure. Well what would really be fun is eating cookies…yeah, eating.
I am unsure whether anyone in their right mind will ever read this but I thought it would be fun (at least for me) to have a theme to write about, a regular feature if you will. Something like movies, or books. Or something even better like The Rock, or Jeffrey Dahmer. So I will try and think of some sort of theme and then I’ll get back to you. Or rather me, because I’m sure anyone who stumbled over here has by now come to their senses and run away screaming.
So here it is, my first blog. Finally I can be cool like everybody else!
I think this should be fun, another thing for me to do on the net…like I don’t spend all my time here anyway! 
This will be a good place for my crazed rantings. It will give my friends and family that live near by a break and allow those that don’t a chance to hear my insane ramblings! What could possibly be better! Maybe a root canal, but probably not.
What you talkin' Bout?